Be the Change You Want to See

Hey all~

Quick update on an important life-issue. If you've talked to me/had to listen to me at all over the past couple of months, you probably heard me being indecisive about, well, several things in life, including church. First, I have to apologize for any drama-queeniness I've exhibited this spring/summer and thank you for sticking with me. Life is looking much clearer now, and I am very thankful that God has put such loving people in my life who carry me through when I can't think straight.
Back to church...as many of you know, I was thinking about switching churches. And as decisions very rarely come easily to me, this one became a major question for me. There were things at Jubilee that were kind of pushing me away, and things at another congregation that seemed very welcoming, and yet I felt committed at Jubilee and yaddayaddayadda. A couple of weeks ago I thought I had reached some sort of compromise where I could just go to both...but that decision still kind of trouble me, and yesterday I thought, girl, you just need to decide.
Decision made. I am staying at Jubilee. It is far from perfect, and I think the church has some issues bubbling to the surface that it is going to need to deal with. However, like literally, God directed me to Jubilee, and it changed my life and affected my whole year here. It has been my home for the past year, and if I only have 6 months left, I want to spend that time at Jubilee, *hopefully* glorifying God through my service there.
In talking with my friend Kristen tonight, who has been in a similar situation, she said "Be the change you want to see." And I think this is what's needed at Jubilee. There are things that bother me, but instead of grumbling about it, I need to start praying about it and doing what I can to build up the community there and help to create an environment where brothers and sisters are loving each other, not pushing each other away.
SO, friends and fam world over: 1) forgive me for complaining about this church/being so indecisive over the past several months 2) Please pray for Jubilee. Pray for the leaders and members and just...we can't make ourselves be more spiritual or more dedicated or more loving. I hope God would just send the Holy Spirit in waves over the congregation, and that we would be open to it. 3)Pray for Kristen and I and other members who feel similarly. I have been proud in this situation, thinking I know what exactly is wrong and what needs to be fixed. Forgive me for that attitude, and pray that we would humbly work to "be the change" we want to see.
I come home in February...there's a lot to be done until then!