Waking Up

Today, I had an AMAZING day. I spent the whole day with a group of people who I can now call friends. We began and ended the day with worship and prayer and endeavored to worship God even in our fun. Can I tell you how awesome this was? I felt like I was waking up. I have not felt this way in several years. I wasn't worried about if I was funny or if people would like me. I was just myself and met some really rockin' people. And the day was great. Nobody got angry, though there were things we could have gotten angry about. Nobody complained, although there were things we could have complained about. I was surrounded by people who loved the Lord, and I love the Lord, and we were all together. Recently I've realized that for the past several years (more than I would like to admit), I have been living a half-life. I have not been seeking out Jesus or committing myself to my faith or even trying to connect with others who also believe in God. I have grown complacent and tried to compromise truths I know are real. I tried to hide what I believed, afraid that people would leave me or think I was strange or whatever. In doing so, I never really fully pursued life. I just kept floating along. Thankfully, even through these times, the Lord blessed me with life-long friends, love, and experiences I will treasure.

But, if I fully commit to the Lord, to intentionally living each and every day to please and serve Him, how much more will I experience?
 
This is the truth: I love the Lord. I cannot love anything more than Him. I cannot pretend like I am not a Christian, or try to camouflage myself as a "cool" Christian or whatever that means. The time is now. I have decided to live each day as a sacrifice to Him, loving Him above all else. I feel I have so many things to learn, which makes me nervous, but also excited to see what will open up.
 
People want to know why I came to Korea. There are several "mini" answers I could give -- I watched some TV and was intrigued, I need to save money, etc. etc. One part of it is, I am made to travel. I become very restless staying in one place too long. I want to see the world, that is just something inside of me. The other part is, which I knew but didn't know, but can recognize now, is that I needed to get out of Indianapolis. I needed to break away from the complacency and routines which were driving my life. Church and Jesus were quickly becoming after thoughts, not the pursuits they should be. I was fading away and had very little idea or concern. Now I know the God placed Korea on my heart (how else would I come up with and really pursue going around the world? hellooooooooo!), and if for no other reason to find a church that I want to attend and commit to activities and to meeting other Christians, then it is worth it. Because I feel like I am becoming myself again, waking up to the life I need to be living.